BURNOUT – How to avoid a burnout.

Burnout can happen to anyone and in different areas of life. Many believe that burnout is often related to your job or professional level. However, burnout can also happen in any relationship. For example, burnout in a marriage occurs when one party continually pursues an emotional bond while their partner does not respond to their needs. This can result in emotional burnout, and the pursuer resigns emotionally, sometimes leading to separation/divorce. Burnout can also happen in a family life when one parent has too many responsibilities – raising children, running the household, working, and for some, the additional responsibility of looking after their elderly parents. Others may have complex extended family relationships that can be exhausting for the one who tries to hold everybody together. This can extend to even other types of communities, such as friendships.

HOW BURNOUT HAPPENS

A couple of reasons cause people to arrive at the burnout stage. These include, but are not limited to:

  1. Lacking boundaries – is one of the common reasons for burnout. Often people don’t realise how heavy a load they carry until one day they lose their excitement and motivation to do what they used to love doing. You find you must drag yourself to go to work or do the thing you used to enjoy.
  2. Being overloaded – because you lack boundaries and tend to say “Yes” to everything, you overload yourself with too many responsibilities, which can lead to prolonged stress and eventually burnout.
  3. Being out of balance – when you overload yourself with responsibilities, you neglect your self-care. Your life becomes an imbalance between too much “giving” and too little “receiving”.
  4. Being unrewarded – sometimes people do not appreciate how much you have done for them, and slowly, your “energy/emotional tank” runs empty and feels drained, e.g. when your boss continually overlooks or doesn’t acknowledge your contributions and efforts in your work.
  5. Resentment – when you are still expected to continually give while your “energy/emotional tank” is running low, this leads to not just losing interest but can also slowly lead to resentment.

HOW DO I KNOW THAT I’M EXPERIENCING BURNOUT?

  1. Health issues – constant headaches, getting sick easily, some unexplained diseases, e.g. dermatosis, autoimmune disease, bowel problems, etc.
  2. Emotionally – feeling dull, unfulfilled, trapped, helpless, hopeless, angry, resentful, easily sensitive, having a negative outlook, depression, etc.
  3. Physically – losing your appetite, unable to sleep, finding it hard to wake up, constant tiredness/fatigue, feeling lethargic, lacking initiation, procrastinating, and for some eating more or less and/or being addicted to alcohol and drugs as a coping mechanism.

WHAT TO DO WHEN I’M BURNT-OUT

  1. Learn to set your boundaries – ask yourself whether you are responsible for yourself or others. Say “No” to the responsibilities that are supposed to belong to others.
  2. Delegate tasks – If you are a “rescuer” and/or a “perfectionist”, it can be a significant challenge to let go of some tasks to others, especially if others do not do it according to your standard. However, it is better to accept things that are less than your standard than for you to burn out.
  3. Self-care – as you delegate tasks to other people, you will have more time to look after yourself. Self-care can be in the form of having a decent sleep or a short (10-15 min) nap in the early afternoon, keeping a healthy diet, doing some hobbies, learning how to take things easy, relaxing, meditating, meeting some friends, doing something nice for yourself, spiritual searching, etc.
  4. Reset your view – try to find joy in what you are doing by looking at the purpose of your life: with your work, in your relationship/marriage, in your family life, in your community. By knowing your purpose in life, you will find joy back, which can help you survive even when you are unrewarded by others.
  5. Talk to other people you trust – sharing your feelings and concerns with others you trust can change your approach and help you overcome your burnout.

However, some need professional help because there are sometimes other contributing factors to your burnout that you cannot resolve alone.

If you have problems with burnout and it seems like there is no way out, or if you have any comments on this topic, you can use the column below, and we are happy to respond to you.